The Sweatiest Day of my Balls' Life

Today was a great day for my balls. I obtained an item through perfectly legal means that excited me to such a state that my balls began to sweat as never before. At first, it was just moist as I began using my new piece of gear. But then, as I got into it, I could feel large packets of moisture collecting under my balls, and I knew what was going to happen next. Suddenly I felt little tiny explosions inside my pants and I noticed the area around my groin becoming wet. I pulled down my pants to see what was happening. The sweat was shooting off my balls like shrapnel from a hand grenade radiating from every direction soaking whatever was in its path! My ball sweat was like acid, dissolving metal on contact! I thought about jerking off, but I was afraid of what might happen. I feared the combination of my ball sweat and spunk. It could cause irreparable harm to my surroundings. I fetched a bucket and a miniature squeegy and attempted to get as much sweat off my balls as I could. When the bucket was half full I took it to the garden and watered my Faith roses. Then I farted, and I bent down to smell it. And my balls began to sweat again. It's been a long day.

Slippery When Wet

It was hot today, and I anticipated a day of heavy sweating. I was awakened this morning by the disturbing sound of my balls sweating. You may laugh, but it's true. I can actually hear my balls sweating. It sounds like a soft hiss. Like the wind blowing from the cornfields. Maybe it's just my imagination, but I'm pretty sure I can hear my balls sweat. When I woke up this morning, I considered putting on two pairs of underwear to better catch the sweat I knew would be running off my balls. After my midday workout, I sat down with my legs spread. I knew from the smell my balls had done their work. When I thought no one was looking, I wafted my own scent to my nose, sucked it in slowly, and held it like a child holds a candy bar. It didn't help that my ass was in full rebellion and was giving off stink bombs left and right. Of course, that doesn't phase my balls. They still sweat.

My girlfriend is laughing at me now, but she won't be laughing when I stick my sweaty balls in her face. She thinks I'm kidding, but she should know from past experience that I mean what I say. Sometimes just to teach her a lesson, I pull out my tumescent member and flog her repeatedly about the head and face. If I'm in a particularly foul mood, I do my best to force it into her ear. She complains and screams, but I know she loves it. It hurts my penis to beat her so, but if my balls are especially sweaty that day, I take some consolation in the fact that as she's being beaten with my hardened johnson, the smell from my balls permeates her every orifice.

My balls kind of itch. I think perhaps the dried sweat is beginning to flake off and make them itch. I'm going to wack my girlfriend with my smelly penis and balls.

A Day At the Park

Yesterday was the 4th of July. A most venerated and sacred date to Americans, July 4th marks the beginning of our country and recalls the brave sacrifice of so many who died to protect our freedom. As a tribute to those fallen heroes, I decided to go on a picnic. My woman and I drove to a nearby park. We found a secluded area near a rose garden. The sun was shining as we laid out our blanket beneath a 30 foot fir tree. The shade of the tree protected us from the midday sun. We talked, we drank wine together, I read, while she took photographs of flowers. Birds chirped as the squirrels performed an acrobatic show.

After my luncheon, I was most content to lay on the blanket reading a book aptly titled "1776". As the afternoon wore on, the sun drifted lazily across the sky. It wasn't long before I felt its warm embrace on the backs of my bare feet. It was about this time that my balls began to sweat. As the sun slowly crept up my leg, I could feel wet rivulets of sweat running down my balls. Soon I noticed it wasn't just my balls that were sweating, it was also my ass. As the sweat from my ass and balls mixed in a pool just beneath my penis, I slowly rolled over stretching my legs apart in hopes that a cool breeze would provide relief to my sweaty balls. Alas, no breeze could quell the sweat on my balls.

That was 7 hours ago. While the overall temperature in my pants has gone down, my balls have never truly stopped sweating. I think I need a shower.

The Birth of My Balls

Welcome to my sweaty balls. At first, my sweaty balls may seem strange to you. But as time goes on, I feel you will come to love my sweaty balls. My sweaty balls may be offensive, and they may leave a bad taste in your mouth, but you will suck on them.

P.S.:

Balls.