Night of the living balls.

The night was cold. Cold, like the frigid fingers of the witch who grabbed my balls. It was my 18th year of life and my balls were coming into their own. They ceased to be merely testes, nay, they emerged as the source of all my power. I was apprenticing with a nude massage therapist, when the subject of my endeavors noticed the steam coming off my recently enlarged balls.

"What scents from yonder crotch doth break? Truly it is the sun, and your balls are the East and West."

"For sooth, it is so. Verily, my balls do smite thee with their pungent aroma."

That's all it took. She could see that my balls knew their business. She was enraptured, trapped by the sweaty lure of my hardened man meat. But my balls were too sweaty. As the sweat began to drip down my leg, I became nervous. I worried what she would think about my overly sweaty balls. I begged them to stop. (Editor's note-this was before I knew the names of my balls. And therefore, was unable to address each directly.)

Luckily, my fears were unfounded. With a quickness that belied her advanced age, my gank patron reached out with an octogenarian claw, intent on making my manhood her own. Oddly, the only thing going through my mind was, "I wonder if she has her teeth in". I quickly found out she didn't.

This was my first acquaintance with the soothing pleasure of a toothless mouth. My balls danced like glass floats upon the water. Bouncing to and fro, ricocheting off her gums, until finally I exploded...but not in the way she intended. I had become so concerned with my balls that I'd overlooked my ass.

Without warning, a dark cloud radiated from my ass at the speed of sound. I tried to contain it, but my ass was having none of it. Shamed, I tore my balls from the elderly woman's mouth and ran sobbing from the room. To this day, this episode still haunts me, and I don't believe my balls have ever forgiven me.

Sometimes, late at night, I caress my balls and beg their forgiveness. I try to sweet talk them and make promises I know I can never keep. Sometimes I wonder if they may be on to me, but I suspect it's just the sweat. The sweat from my balls. My sweaty, scary balls.

Balls.